Oops it’s a ThrowbackThursday.
Oh wouldja look at this cutie… <3
Queerness, to me, is about far more than homosexual attraction. It’s about a willingness to see all other taboos broken down. Sure, many of us start on this path when we first feel “same sex” or “same gender” attraction (though what is sex? And what is gender? And does anyone really have the same sex or gender as anyone else?). But queerness doesn’t stop there.
This is a somewhat controversial stance, but to me queer means something completely different than “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.” A queer person is usually someone who has come to a non-binary view of gender, who recognizes the validity of all trans identities, and who, given this understanding of infinite gender possibilities, finds it hard to define their sexuality any longer in a gender-based way. Queer people understand and support non-monogamy even if they do not engage in it themselves. They can grok being asexual or aromantic. (What does sex have to do with love, or love with sex, necessarily?) A queer can view promiscuous (protected) public bathhouse sex with strangers and complete abstinence as equally healthy.
Queers understand that people have different relationships to their bodies. We get what it means to be stone. We know what body dysphoria is about. We understand that not everyone likes to get touched the same way or to get touched at all. We realize that people with disabilities may have different sexual needs, and that people with survivor histories often have sexual triggers. We can negotiate safe and creative ways to be intimate with people with HIV/AIDs and other STIs.
Queers understand the range of power and sensation and the diversity of sexual dynamics. We are tops and bottoms, doms and subs, sadists and masochists and sadomasochists, versatiles and switches. We know what we like and don’t like in bed.
We embrace a wide range of relationship types. We can be partners, lovers, friends with benefits, platonic sweethearts, chosen family. We can have very different dynamics with different people, often all at once. We don’t expect one person to be able to fulfill all our diverse needs, fantasies and ideals indefinitely.
Because our views on relationships, sex, gender, love, bodies, and family are so unconventional, we are of necessity anti-assimilationist. Because under the kyriarchy we suffer, and watch the people we love suffering, we are political. Because we want to survive, we fight. We only want the freedom to be ourselves, love ourselves, love each other, and live together. Because we are routinely denied that, we are pissed.
Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.” It means “ask me more questions if you curious” and in the same breath means “fuck off.”
Excerpt from What Queerness Means To Me at Tranarchism (via docasaur)
“and in the same breath means ‘fuck off’”
[bolding mine] This is why I’m queer, and not just pansexual, or kinky, or non-binary gendered, or non-monogamous. To be queer is to be anti-assimilationist. To be queer means to understand that we cannot separate our struggles against heteropatriarchy from our struggles against white supremacy, ableism, colonialism and imperialism, xenophobia and apartheid, class war, and ultimately capitalism.
Queers and queerness are my hope for humanity.
Go read the whole thing.
And because you’re the barista I feel the need to tell you this, rather than the person who came up with the names because I’m some prick in a suit and I think I’m better than you.
This guy is a metaphor for (a more intelligent and cocky version of) me, and the barista is a metaphor for the whole lifestyle Starbucks promotes. And it happens every time I order a drink at that place.
Except by “it”, I mean “I think “god these names are stupid as hell” in my head and order politely”.
"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."